The suite I chose had every possible convienence: adorable bellhops, arsenic-laced cakes, plush carpeting, and an unused elevator shaft. Just right for someone I know.
That would provoke the Ride To The Shaft, where I would prove my love by dangling the front wheels of his chair over the thirteen story shaft. "You don't want to PLUNGE into anything so fast.", I would say. Soon he realized that the lack of alcohol was making me slightly crazy and stopped griping about my need for a Bloody Mary first thing in the morning. By day three in Prohibition World, he was encouraging me to sip the fruit of the vine. Better that than The Shaft. I don't know why Disney thinks denying decent citizens like me a stiff drink every hour of the waking day will make a better world. I am a much nicer person when I have a drink in my hand.
"Do you like Gin, Mamie?", "I ADORE it." "Well, let's play a hand." Bang, bang....
posted by Alexis du Bois @ 7:16 AM
9 Comments:
Listen Baby Jane, you got yourself into this mess and now pre-meditated murder will have to get you out. Now if you truly are interested in seeing the shaft that everyone wants to get, you will have to make a slight side trip to Toronto.
Oh, Mikevil; why didn't I go forward with my plan last summer to destroy Bees and claim you as the prize? Instead, I married Henry Kissinger and may never know what it's like to have the carpet match the drapes.
[!] I can't wait for the next installment ~~
STATEMENT #1: I'm the one with the ring now.
STATEMENT #2: MIKEVIL CAN KISS MY ASS
And they said true love was dead! Well as long as Ian and You are alive and well and no one is going down that shaft then everything is okay. (OMG did I just say something about going down on a shaft? You set me up for that Uncle Alexis! Evil, pure evil!) :-)
Love Always,
Jesse :-)
Alexis-
Oh haha! Congrats on marrying a fine boy like Ian. I am glad to finally catch up with you...I guess we've both been busy lately. Try not to pull a "bees" and rampage a children's theme park hopped up on drugs, forcing the security to take you down like a loose elephant in heat.
I do agree with you on the evils of the "dry" park idea. Frank Sinatra: "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they will feel all day."
Come back through Missouri with Ian after kiddie-land and I will shower you with dirty martinis and a modicum of sass. Do consider, Love.
Lorg gurl, get this lady a drink and fast. I can't have her stepping all over my newly planet allysum. And get Alexis a litter till the swagger replaces itself delicately in her hips. Only then will she be able to dodge traffic like a cat on the freeway that I've grown so accustomed to seeing. Love love love oh and ....love
kb
Ian darling, I have made it very clear in the past that I don't put my lips anywhere near over-ripe fruit. (don't worry Alexis, I don't mean you. You I could gobble up like passionfruit). Mwah!
oh I'm sorry Mikesomething... but the brighteness of my RING won't let me read a word u wrote.
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