Back and Feeling Like Scarlet

At 4pm today I will return from a self-imposed exile of floating in the pool, staring at cotton-puff clouds; just me and my books and my beloved dog, KiKi and a brief visit--of course--by Hyacinthe. And what did I learn this weekend?

1. Red snapper topped with mango chutney is a breeze to make if someone who used to be you friend made a lot of it as preserves.

2. KiKi prefers cheeseburgers to mango-topped red snapper and got what he wanted.

3. Don't mention to Hyacinthe that you might put a lock on the driveway gate and not expect her to give a lengthy dissertation on the East Berliners who carved tunnels with a teaspoon to get where they wanted.

4. In 1360 King Pedro of Portugal wanted to legitmize his children with his mistress Inez de Castro, whom he had married after their births. The pope (always there when needed) declared that the children could be legitimate only if their mother was crowned queen--and Inez died five years earlier. Undeterred, King Pedro dug her up, dressed her skeleton in regal robes, and had it placed in a chair in the cathedral and crowned in an elaborate ceremony which all the nobles were forced to attend. After that no one protested when he legitimized the children.

5. Don't get involved with Newport politics. Making the mistake of writing that someone is running for governor when it really is secretary of state can cause war.
Last week our very own ex-secretary of state, Katherine Harris, accused the press of doctoring her photos to look like she wears too much make-up. (Oh, no; they couldn't.) Only a couple of years ago, Barry Seltzer tried to run her down with his car saying later that he was only "exercising" his political rights. Secretaries of state are sensitive.

4pm approaches and so does my carriage. I will, with grace and majesty, climb the staircase of The Palace. Well, it's not really a staircase, but I have so far not fallen down on those three steps to the bar. I am wearing a dazzling pair of shorts which I made out of flowered drapery material; I'm coming Rhett, I mean Johnny.