"Do not speak of repulsive matters at table"

by du Bois
Miami Beach

Amy Vanderbilt once wrote that and this was once the cornerstone of table manners (along with keeping your mouth shut while eating). But it appears that the polarization of general society is making polite dinner conversation improbable, if not impossible. With the du Barry welcome back dinner postponed until next Monday, I gladly accepted an invitation last night to another.

Now this was a rather smart grouping of eight professional, presumably well-educated adults, and although they were not part of my "set" we all were well-acquainted. And perhaps my mind had been somewhat corrupted by another dining adventure this weekend where the talk pleasantly drifted between the subjects of entertainment, fashion, and sensual adventure. But, no sooner had our gracious host served soup when one guest--a lawyer of suspect reputation--loudly proclaimed that the United States should now hop from Arab state to Arab state and remove "the trouble-makers". The spoonful of Cream of Wild Mushroom curdled on my tongue. Several guests uncomfortably tried to steer the conversation elsewhere, like to the weather, but Mr. Lawyer continued on his way. I didn't know ambulance chasers spent so much time on affairs of state.

By the time the pork loin roast was served (in a red wine/Dijon sauce that I will get the recipe for), this simpleton had American troops in two other Arab states. How could The War be in any way dinner conversation? My discomfort was too apparent. I softly said to my host, "How boorish." whereupon Mr. Lawyer snapped, "You think it's boring?" "Boor-ISH", I replied, "BOOR-ISH." I don't think he had ever heard the term, although he was quite accomplished at it. I so wanted to chime in with something like how this endless war was going to bankrupt the economy or why were so many young men and women dying for a cause so vague and lifeless, but two things are certain. One is that you never put your host on the spot, and the other is that a boorish mind will never be changed over a pork loin. Everyone sort of made it through the salad without much more talk of war or pestilence, but it certainly made me wish for the dining companions of the weekend.

Dinner conversations should always be gay and amusing, even if your company is not. The recipe for that pork loin will be forthcoming.