"the" Mrs. Astor

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Invitations

Maybe all is not as bad as it seems. My thoughts about visiting either Argentina or New York brought out these responses which tell me most of my dismay is home grown and now I have two (or five) gorgeous invitations.

From my dear Jake in New York:

Milady, also known as the compassionate, the beautiful, and the long living, The royal houses of New York implore you to visit our courts. Beset by the finest jewels and wearing the finest asian silks, you'll dazzle our young suitors and drink from our finest cups the juice of Bacchus. We'll dance the Charleston and gaily sing with the royal symphony such delights as "Dancing Queen" and "I'm Every Woman". Milady, our King has not such long had such a befitting suitor, and as New York society becomes stale with the stench of complacency, such a precence could only do good for both our beleagured souls. Such rumour of peasant revolts and intrigue greatly upset our hearts, and we beseach upon you the invitation to our distant beaches where you will be recieved with great glory and rich splendor. The high society of New York has much desired to recieve such a dignitary such as yourself, and our shores have not been touched with such a presence since your last departure. There is no more fitting a retreat for a lady of such high regard such as yourself than the salons of gold and velvet which appoints our walls. Fullfil our entreaties your Grace. Your vast empire will be under no disability as Jupiter himself has promised to reign supreme over your land and granted you young Heremes to take your arm and accompany you safetly to our great bastion. Dear Lady, we hope our invitation has found you in good spirits and the postion to find yourself in favorable agreements to make such a timely and precribed journey. We await word of your decisions, and send emissaries carrying the ord of Dardunus and a bust of Venus, so that you may always be reminded that you, in fact, are the most beautiful woman to be born unto us mortals - a gift from Phoebus.
6:59 PM


And let's not frget That Pimpernel, the master of Credit Suisse:

By GOD, Girl! Your last blog entry, I'll be depressed for years......... Well, actually, no. However, it does point out the obvious. You really need a break. Pack your steamer trunks (and your swimming trunks) and get out of SoBe. Come to Switzerland...........

I've got to get out, to be sure; I am crumbling emotionally.


(And how rude would I be without mentioning the invitations to non-stop pasta dinners in Toronto with Mikevil and his husband, Derwood, and another to Missouri with Ed Grow and his husband Darwin. What sweet people, all.)

14 Comments:

At 10:06 AM, Blogger Glitzy said...

Gay tango show? Glaciers? I'm with Ian on visiting Argentina first and then NY. That way you and Jake can travel back to NY together.

Anyone giving out donations so Bees and I can go too? *smirk*

 
At 11:05 AM, Blogger Ray said...

You really need to join us on the Standart. The Baltic is nice this time of year. I'll send a troika to Tsarskoe Selo to pick you up.

 
At 12:10 PM, Blogger Alexis du Bois said...

Glitzy, it all sounds so wonderful.

Ray, I still have that "Standart" sailor's cap I wore as a child. I'll be watching out the window of The Alexander Palace.

 
At 12:48 PM, Blogger Ian Gutierrez said...

Alexis, u r such a lucky bitch, and you are blessed with so much love all around the world, No doubt about it...
Invitations will still flow from all over this planet.
more after this post.
you are free to take´em all.
But remember... you´ll be mine at the end...

 
At 2:27 PM, Blogger Alexis du Bois said...

Fine; it Shall Be: From this point on I shall have two arms to cling on. On my gloved right with the The 7th Gay Calvary, protective and true to their cause. On my gloved left will be my two Ladies-In-Waiting, The Baroness Bees and the Lady Glitzy, ready at any moment to soothe me of another disappointment in love and ready to assure my social standing.

Other than that, I jump off the bridge tonight!

Oh, that's right we don't have one of those, do we?

 
At 2:29 PM, Blogger Alexis du Bois said...

Oh, and, Ian, which "end" that? Yours (I hope) or mine ( I hope more).

 
At 2:57 PM, Blogger Ian Gutierrez said...

what about "ours" (at the same time)?
u pig!

 
At 11:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your Ladyship,

A specticle it would be should I meet such a powerful and adoring young suitor from our neighbors to the south. As your majesty is familiar, thine young apprenctice has always held a special exaltation for the latin people. I implore you, ladyship, the courts of York do hark - patiently we do await your arrival. I implore you; to our shores make haste. It's been years my sweet.

Queen Beatrix Wilhelmina Armgard van Oranje-Nassau

* Marquis of Veere and Vlissingen
* Count of Katzenelnbogen, Vianden, Diez, Spiegelberg, Buren, Leerdam, and Culemborg
* Viscount of Antwerp
* Baron of Breda, Diez, Beilstein, the town of Grave and the lands of Cuijk, IJsselstein, Cranendonk, Eindhoven, Liesveld, Herstal, Warneton, Arlay and Nozeroy
* Hereditary Lord and Seigneur of Ameland
* Lord of Besançon, Borculo, Breedevoort, Bütgenbach, Clundert, Daasburg, Geertruidenberg, Hooge en Lage Zwaluwe, 't Loo, Lichtenvoorde, Montfoort, Naaldwijk, Niervaart, Polanen, Steenbergen, Sint-Maartensdijk, Sankt Vith, Soest, Ter Eem, Turnhout, Willemstad, and Zevenbergen and Princess of Lippe-Biesterfeld

 
At 11:56 PM, Blogger Countess Bedelia said...

Well, my dahling Mrs. A, I am bereft to be left out of all of these travel plans. I am actually in NYC as we speak and tonight I saw a wonderful musical play at the American Theatre on 54th St.."SLUT".. I don't know why I thought of you dahling! :-)

Such wonderful tunes like 'Slutterday Night' and 'Never date a man from Long Island, He'll only want you for your Manhattan apartment'. You would love it!!

So when you go to Salem to visit the reigning Warlock, Shawn Poirier, please remember that I am right next door and have Fabulous guest accomodations.

Now, Argentina, NYC, and NE. Your travel itinerary is growing.

Hugs and Kisses from The Countess

 
At 5:29 AM, Blogger John Q. Aggravated said...

You could always try that "be in two places at one time" thing they do on the sitcoms, except you'd have to find a concorde.

You could pull it off. ^_^

 
At 6:08 PM, Blogger Jesse said...

Uncle Alexis,

Of *COURSE* you know that you are more then welcome to come visit me in my parents home in Northern Westchester/Putnam County, NY. You will be able to stay in the lavishly makeshift "Guest Bedroom" aka my younger sister Dana's bedroom. It comes complete with light pink walls, teal carpeting, a twin-sized canopy bed with circa 1976 floral detailing, more stuffed animals then can be counted, high school photos of super popular kids, many Seventeen Magazine cutouts, and the piet de resistance - a Britney Spears "Oops I Did it Again" Poster. It's a dream vacation - in style ;)

Love Always,
Jesse :)

 
At 7:49 PM, Blogger Ian Gutierrez said...

*shudder*
Jesse said BRITNEY!

 
At 8:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your "blue" posts were kindof nice in a backwards way. I read your blog daily, and it seems you've had quite a fun past, and haven't slowed down one bit. It's nice to see somebody (who seeminly has such a glamourous life)have a bad day every once in a while. It makes your readers feel you are human rather than ficticious. And above that it makes us feel that it's okay that we have crappy days too!!!
Glad it has seemed to pass!
Traveling sounds like a fabulous idea.

B

 
At 8:35 PM, Blogger Alexis du Bois said...

Quite right Austine I need TWO sitcoms. Who ever could have guessed?

Jesse, "lavish" is the key word, even if it was the gutter I "slept" in last night. My, that guest room sound inviting.....

dzyn...you give me the strength to realize that all this madness is not going to stop me. Thanks.

 

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