The message--handed between cocktails and the debate about whether the weather would affect the weekend and was el Nina worse than el Nino--was all too clear. No code could cloud the obvious. It read: "Two Queens Will Change All". The Countesses Bedelia and du Barry were, indeed, arriving--some would say assaulting--this island kingdom together on Saturday and setting up rival court at the neighboring palace of The Carlyle (just about as pretentious as you can get). At the formal announcement, members of The Court started to squeal like pigs; they ran around exclaiming their admiration of The Northern Court, and I wondered just how many spies Bedelia did have here. The only thing you can do in a situation like this, I remembered, was when The Kaiser Wilhelm visited his cousin Nicholas II; neither one of them like the "positioning" of the other, but they put on their best uniforms, toasted each other profusely, and carried forward.

Then they declared war on each other.

Of course, that can't happen now; du Barry is my sister.