"the" Mrs. Astor

Thursday, October 25, 2007

The message--handed between cocktails and the debate about whether the weather would affect the weekend and was el Nina worse than el Nino--was all too clear. No code could cloud the obvious. It read: "Two Queens Will Change All". The Countesses Bedelia and du Barry were, indeed, arriving--some would say assaulting--this island kingdom together on Saturday and setting up rival court at the neighboring palace of The Carlyle (just about as pretentious as you can get). At the formal announcement, members of The Court started to squeal like pigs; they ran around exclaiming their admiration of The Northern Court, and I wondered just how many spies Bedelia did have here. The only thing you can do in a situation like this, I remembered, was when The Kaiser Wilhelm visited his cousin Nicholas II; neither one of them like the "positioning" of the other, but they put on their best uniforms, toasted each other profusely, and carried forward.

Then they declared war on each other.

Of course, that can't happen now; du Barry is my sister.

7 Comments:

At 9:55 PM, Blogger Countess Bedelia said...

The white doves were dropping into the ocean from sheer exhaustion as they raced back and forth between Castle Newport and Castle Bedelia in Transylchusetts tonight. The coded messages were sent with the highest priority "For Countess Eyes Only".

The final plans were afoot for the visit to the Southern Court. Spies had informed Us that pigs were squealing with delight at the knowledge that the Northern Court would soon arrive to bring peace and prosperity to the land. (One case of Glenlivet consumed at the bar would feed an impoverished nation for a month.)

 
At 12:13 AM, Blogger Black and Tan Mark said...

Oh, Mrs. Astor.... What would one sister be without the other?

 
At 12:35 AM, Blogger Alexis du Bois said...

I will not have words snatched from my mouth and used to fund an uprising of mindless people who whouldn't know "peace and prosperity" if it bit them on the ankle. The Southern Court thrives on mayhem and poverty to distract attention.

Don't think I'm not intercepting your notes, dear lady.

 
At 12:37 AM, Blogger Alexis du Bois said...

Mark:

...richer.

 
At 1:07 AM, Blogger Countess Bedelia said...

Not to worry, Mrs. Astor. The next communique you receive from your sister will deny all involvement with Bedelia...Have you heard that before, perhaps?

Oh, how I love the smell of court intrigue burning on an autumn morn.

 
At 3:05 AM, Blogger The INFOSEC Consultant said...

It reminds me that Julius Caesar and Pompeii the Great were father-in-law and son-in-law.... the ugliest things can happen in a "good" family. Fortunately I will be there to intercede as needed.

 
At 11:32 AM, Blogger Alexis du Bois said...

The only thing you will smell, Countess, is the burning of peasant villages--lit in your honor--as your carriage takes you through the countryside.

 

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