I have to stop watching the news; it must have been what put me in a haze today. With the country on the brink of collapse, Paris Hilton's entry into the presidential campaign competed with the 911 call from a customer at Subway who didn't get the right sauce as the most chilling threats to civilization. It's back to the Food Channel for me. Good Ol' Mrs. Stuyvesant-Fish hauled me out for libations after work. She listened to my mounting concerns for society and calmly announced, "Reality is totally overrated." That got me silly again, the the world is definitely a better place when you are silly and have a drink in your hand.

I also read way too much about The Montauk Monster, the rather gruesome thing that washed up a week ago. The conspiracy network is working overtime with the fact that the site is across from Plum Island, a government facility that researches the most dangerous animal diseases. There was an amusing suggestion that is was el chupacabra, the spawn of Amy Winehouse and Robert Novak, or Jurassic pork.

I'm going back to the safety of The Past tomorrow with another fascinating woman from the Russian Revolution. Yes, that will be safe.