"the" Mrs. Astor

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The Shelley Novak Awards

Love, marriage, planning a life together..... All of those are pressing items on the agenda, but it's time to get down the the really important things again. Yes, it is once again time for The Shelley Novak Awards, the academy awards of Miami drag society. The date is February 27 at Crobar.

It would be an understatement to say that the anticipation for this night is causing anxiety here. Remarks are made, ("She looked so tired in that old dress."), dirt dug up ("You know, she did serve time."), and accusations flung ("I know she stole it!) in the jockeying for votes and attention. Social powerhouses like Edison Farrow use their vast resources to coordinate the voting and stir up the pot.

It's not a good time to be known as a judge or other deciding factor in this claw-your-eyes-out competition, but The Unsinkable Shelley Novak did ask me to be a presenter. My immediate reply was, "Will any other presenter being wearing gold lame' that evening?" Shelley answered, "No presenter can afford gold lame'." I squealed like a pig.

I am now rehearsing in front of a mirror. I walk up the imaginary stairs of the stage (the audience is hushed, waiting for me to step on the hem of my gown and fall). I glide with unbridled grace and dignity across that stage, waving to some unknown club person in the front row (I can't see them anyway without my glasses). I shake the hand of the announcer and brush him back to take over the podium whipping out a fashionable pair of diamond-studded reading glasses (my hands have been steadied by a shot of Van Gogh expresso vodka). I gently clear my throat.

"And the nominees are..."


At 1:26 PM, Blogger Jesse said...

Uncle Alexis,

*SIGH* I wish I could be there witnessing all the Drag Queens in all their glory. Well I don't know about ALL of their glory - this might be a strictly PG-13 rated event, lol! :)You know I wish I could be there! But, since I can't be there in a little over a week I hope you take LOTS of pictures! Also know that I will be there in a little over a month for the *REAL* event!!! :-) Love you tons and hope Ian and you had some lovey dovey conversation yesterday for Valentine's Day! :-)

Love Always,
Jesse :-)

At 6:26 PM, Blogger Ms Bees Knees said...

you know if that gold lame' gown doesn't work out for you may i suggest you wear one of your many sequined ::cough:: gowns instead?

ps. did you really squeal like a pig? that makes me love you even more than i already do.

At 8:52 PM, Blogger "the" Mrs. Astor said...

Yes, Jesse, the real glory is next month. (sigh)

Bees, yes, I squeal....a lot.

At 1:44 PM, Blogger Serra said...

Mrs. A,
Is this the Shelley Novak I saw on Miami Ink? If so, she's got a little bitty Superman's S tattooed on one arm.

At 10:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Saw you on Miami Ink you said to google you and so i did awesome is what describes what you do keep it up

At 2:00 AM, Blogger TechN9ne said...

What's up Shelley, Yes I too saw you on Miami Ink and did like you said and Googled ya lol. Well I think it looks like you're doing a great job at what you're doing. I hope akll went well with your parents. I couldn't imagine ever having to tell my parents that. And well my dad told me when I was younger what he'd do to me and well hahaha I dont want that lol. But I hope all went well. Keep up the good job man, and if I ever come back to Florida I will definately check out one of your shows? cool deal

At 5:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We at Bid-Alot.com were watching Miami Ink also - shh dont tell the boss!! So we did as you asked and googled ya and now we here!!

Any plans for more anymore Tats?

Hope it went well telling ya folks.. :)

At 5:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just seen miami ink in the UK. GOD my sons name is bigger than that superman thing get a real tatto dude coz you are one ok!!!

At 3:49 PM, Anonymous megente said...

what a tarded tattoo.
im watching miami ink right now, and i laugh.
i inted to get a better tattoo.
and im a wuss.

At 11:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just saw you on Miami ink. And you told everyone to goole it and this is what i found.

At 12:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

my boyrfiend loves your tattoo!!!!! he is coming out as a drag queen also and is using the tattoo as inspiration.

At 12:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I too just watched you at Miami Ink....
Chin up..Good luck wiht your family.

At 12:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are soooo pretty!!! I also just saw you on miami ink. (I'm always the last to know!!!) But I hope everything is well with the folks!!! Love you!!!!

At 10:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I saw you on Miami Ink in Australia. Awesome tatoo. Hope it went well telling your folks!
Love bec

At 7:55 PM, Anonymous Belu said...

I just saw Miami Ink from Argentina, Buenos Aires.

At 8:14 PM, Anonymous dani said...

I loved your tatoo, i saw miami ink in brasil!!

At 1:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hehehehe hello... I was watching Miami Ink... and I google it!! lol From Vnezuela

At 8:47 AM, Blogger riicko666 said...

I just saw MiAmI iNk finland/Aland/ricko:)

At 5:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Same thing.

Watched the proggy here in Denmark

At 2:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Know about you from Miami Ink! and yeap!! I google you, your great! Am already a fan of you from Mexico!!


At 8:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

god bless you all my email is tomsobe@bellsouth.net
i really enjoyed doing miami ink Ami is a friend of mine and they wanted me on the show so having my little tattoo touched up was the way to go for me -im having my 15th annual shelley novak awards this feb 25th-google me LOL
love to all peace
shelley novak (tommy)

At 11:55 PM, Anonymous Larissa said...

i'm from Brazil!!
i just sow see shelley novak in miami ink, and i look at the google and found!!
nice tattoo super man.
and told about your personalit to your parents is very corage!
good look

At 12:22 AM, Blogger stacey said...

Shelly, Shelly, Shelly........................................,

I have to say that i'm not surprised that you have such talent, and are known to so many as a famous entertainer!
What saddens me is that I AM part of your family and that myself and the rest of the family have been left in the DARK!
Imagine the trips we ALL could have taken and the FUN we ALL could have had all those years @ the award nights...........................
You are the COOLEST QUEEN I know, and i'm sure ALL of your family would agree!
We love you ................ xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Guess Who!

At 3:00 PM, Blogger Biah said...

Hi, I am Biia. I saw you in the MIAMI INK. Im from Brasil (sao paulo) and did what you said I looked on google. Sorry, do not speak English very well .. but loved their tattoos and the idea that there is behind it. Kisses !

At 1:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey you shelly babe! I also did see you on miami inc..cool tattoo;)
Be strong man...Love from NORWAY

At 12:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I saw you on miami ink of course I had to google you!!!:)
Love from sweden

God luck with your family!!

At 8:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

how's you superman tattoo?
GO GO, do what you want to do =D

At 10:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

well i saw ya on miami ink and google ya. well i just want to say hope it went well wid you telling your parents.
i love miami ink never miss an espoide. i also liked your superman tatto. you are a good inspration you have came far and entertained loads.hope you carry on doing what you love :)

rbc (england)

At 2:22 PM, Anonymous amex casinos said...

This message is simply matchless ;)


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