The worst thing about crawling out from under the rock of sickness is to find out that just as you feel free to walk away from it, you find out that the train of your peach, silk tea gown is still firmly stuck and you fall--in FRONT of everyone. In a town where everyone is either sick or drunk (or on the shuttle between the two), this is of little consequence to one's social standing.

For three days I could do little more than manage a slight wave of the hand to indicate this or that. Unfortunately, Palace life goes on, courtiers need to be agressively ignored, lower nobility has to be watched always in their constant bid for "mid-lower" nobility, and--generally--the little strength left in the hand is motioned to "Fire Over The Heads". There was little time left between fevers and reading the latest issue of HOLA Magazine.

Still, I was not prepared for The Call from Thomas Barker tonight. The weak utterance of greeting was met with, "Have you read The Wire?" (I thought: No, do I read the wire or look at the pictures and cringe.? It is always a wonderful rag for picking up doggie doo, though.) "We are here at Da Leo (their favorite hangout), and you'd better look at it." The horror that pulsed through my weak veins could not be described. I had, once again, been dragged through the gutter of a paper that gave THAT institution a good name.

I walked, weakly, at first and then began a full gallop. When I arrived, the table was aglow; I felt my time had come, to be sure. "Look! Alexis, you are number two on the list of 33 "Hip" things about Miami Beach. Egads, this is what has become of me; I am now "Hip" right there along with The South Beach Wine and Food Festival, The Hotel Victor, The World Erotic Art Museum, the Miami Gay and Lesbian Film Festival, and others. Still, I was the only person listed and that--I am totally ashamed to say--allowed life to flow once again through those veins. It is apparent that all I needed was an injection of "A Shallow and Tawdry Life" to bring me around. "Oh.....", I sighed, and the birds singing went to sleep, the sun set on an empire long lost, and I had a glass of champagne.