The Art of the Belly Shot

Every Friday the incomparable, Geraldine performs a cabaret and during intermission takes a belly shot off of one of the customers. Usually, the victim has no clue to what is going to happen, but here's how it goes:


First, ask for a volunteer to assist you in your next performance, announcing that you need the help of a cute, young boy. There is always one drunk enough.

Coax his shirt off and place him on his back; stools will do as well as a floor. Stools put him at a convenient height for the act, but the floor is conducive to acts of a different sort later.

As the crowd watches, explain to the little lamb that you are going to put a lime in his mouth, salt around his belly button and up to his nipples, and that you will take a tequila shot out of his belly and lick everything off.

Add a good amount of salt (better too much, than too little on a body like this).

As you prepare to pour the shot, put your microphone in his crotch and tell him to "hold it". This keeps him still (and if tries to run, you can grab him by the crotch).

Do the shot, and start licking, very slowly around the belly button and up his chest to his salted nipples. He is not dangerous now; he's liking it too much. In fact, he's beginning to think he may love you.

Spend a little time working the nipples. This extra work will pay off in the next step and, anyway, you don't want someone else finishing your job for you.

Then....Gently straddle him and suck the lime, leaving it in his mouth. Suck it as he sucks back. Suck it as if it the last lime you will ever taste.

Throw back your head in ecstasy as you feel his erection and accept the applause of the grateful crowd.




(Note to Self: Get a dress and wig out of storage and give Geraldine a paid night off this Friday.)