One of the most amazing things I forgot to mention is that the day Mayor Dermer turned over control of The City to the dachshunds, the dogs erected a fence around City Hall to keep the employees coralled in. During the day, you could see employees rolling around in the grass and nipping at each other as the dachshunds closely monitored their actions.

I just came back from stopping in on Ramon and the dogs; another bloodclot has developed over his ear and some sort of action will be taken this week. It is heartbreaking to see someone who cleamed up his act, got a great job, now reduced to handouts. I assured him on as many counts as I could; he will not starve or be thrown out (but this is humiliating to him).

SO.....In the great tradition of South Beach, I will focus on the nonsensical things, like tonight's Latino Night hosted by The Countess Ramona of the Grand Duchy of Hialeah. I didn't need to send out a general invitation to Mrs. Astor's Four Hundred. They have been quietly preparing to join me at my reserved tables on their own. Pearls have been taken out of the vaults, the temperatures are going down and furs are coming out, and ducal crests on the doors of carriages have been polished. Indeed, I can hear the clamor of carriages already in the distance, coming from Palm Beach and Ft. Lauderdale.

Ramona's court is more given to gold and silver, but that's what makes the whole thing work. I, for one, will be bring out a rope of diamonds to make sure none of The Four Hundred out-does me. We are in a high stakes game now; reputations are on the line and no one, better than me, can play that game. There will be a great deal of fanning tonight, both to talk behind and to fend off untoward moves; a woman has to be armed these days. If all goes as it has for the past two weeks, there will be immense flirtation between the two courts.

Whatever Mikevil says, it's a good thing.