Don't Go In The Water

This is a photo of the last time I went to the beach. This seems incredulous to many, living on the "American Riviera" and all, but--except for special events or visits--you are not likely to see me in my squashed-heeled shoes on the beach, much less in the water.

Firstly, there is the sand; it gets everywhere and travels with you to the car, the home, or the bar, as is most likely to be the case. Jeremy holds this same aversion for beach sand. We came up with what we thought was the perfect solution: a giant Rubbermaid mat with a path leading to it and then one to the ocean. We know it would get hot, but we had a type of water slide device in mind for that and, anyway, none of us would be caught dead barefoot. This great leap forward in resort thinking went nowhere with the City Commission.

And, secondly, there is the ocean water. For as long as anyone would listen, I have maintained that water off a big city could never be clean, or at least as clean as the water in the pool. I might as well been screaming "The sky is falling". Every time I hear about the increase in ear infections I shake my head with dismay; don't these parents think? Even IF there was no discharge of sewerage (treated or not, I don't care), there is run-off from storm drains. But, it gets better.

Yesterday the Florida Legislature unanimously voted that the three southern counties here cease the discharge of sewerage three miles out to sea. Oceanographic scientist, Dr. John Proni testified that an increase bacteria levels in the ocean was being detected. (Here's another genius who should get a prize). When asked if he would go in the water by the state senators, Proni replied that he "would prefer not to.'' All of this has caused a sea of protest from the local counties involved as it will cost 3 billion dollars to correct (not counting the 1 billions that will line pockets everywhere).

KiKi doesn't like the beach, either; he won't even walk through a puddle. but, he doesn't mind lounging on a deck chair, sipping a drink by the pool; that's my boy.