I am just so tired of this new notion of what is a social issue. Since when is senatorial appointment, "transparency" in money taken from the public treasury, and the nonsensical thoughts of an Alaskan governor who should be milking a cow rather than a national issue be more important than a real social issue, namely my "Mrs. Astor's Potato Salad" (or in Alaskan recipe books, "Mrs. Astor's Potatoe Salad").

Having sampled some of my famed culinary concoctions, Saks Fifth Avenue of Bal Harbour asked me to prepare a large amount of my potato salad for their employee party tomorrow. Knowledgeable of the equally large discount on my fork, I embraced the request and spent three hours concocting a new recipe that would forever be recalled as the Rubicon of potato salad. After that labor, I realized that I had enough minced vegetables to make a chicken salad and enough dressing to make a pasta salad. If it wasn't for the vodka, the whole project would have derailed. Now I have two refrigerators packed with containers, bowls, and bottles...oh, yes...of vodka.