"the" Mrs. Astor

Friday, February 24, 2012

Well, after a two month rest--which was much needed--I am back; and with a vengeance.THAT started this morning. Being a light sleeper, I heard footsteps in the back yard and peered out to this rather motley looking character walking around the property. I immediately sprang to action, something I haven't done in two months.

I immediately took out my uniform for the Imperial Uhlan regiment and dusted of it's now gleaming sword. Yes that is me in full uniform. I figured if the sword did scare him, the uniform and my serious gaze would.
Then I had a thought. Miami low-lifes (I think that's all they produce down here) would more likely to be frightened of a machete, so I dragged out some low-life outfit from the drag box and prepared to do battle.
The the idea popped up (I have a lot of ideas) that perhaps a shotgun was the answer and--with good luck, could probably take down three with one well-aimed blast. Then the call came; it was the gardeners saying that--since they hadn't been here in two weeks--that they were just assessing the needs of the property. Now, I've seen some of the young, Latino gardeners before. Some are just a nasty as an old fruitcake. But others are luscious like a canoli.
So I devised an outfit for the next unannounced visit. It is a mostly modest dress that hides a Derringer in the apron for those ugly ones. For the cuties, I made a dress with only the least amount of thread holding on the buttons. I figure once they eat my cookies, they can tear off my dress and have a real meal. It's just a thought.

Meanwhile, I have oodles to report about what has been going on here behind my back and won't hesitate to name names.


At 2:41 AM, Blogger Officer Brian said...

Darling, I'm sorry to see things have gotten SO dangerous at the Astor Estate. The Northern Court will be sending it's retired knight to protect you during the Winter Party. Prepare the midnight swimmers and the poison tipped umbrellas!

At 1:40 PM, Blogger Alexis du Bois said...

Well, we don't want to poison the young one's, do we Officer. As a member of the constabulary, you mush have access to tazers. They are the rage now; I could take a dozen.

At 2:45 PM, Blogger Officer Brian said...

So the goal for this week will simply be to incapacitate. I like that.


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