Valentine's Day, The Reality Show
This was the first year in GOD KNOWS HOW MANY that I didn't have a Valentine, so I did what every lady in my situation would do and went to The Club to cry in my beer. I walked in, immediately spotted the handsome Scottie and parked myself next to him. I was taken aback with not seeing his boyfriend, Matt. (It is loudly rumored here that the combined cock size of these two boys measures about 12 miles. I have seen Scottie's several times and can attest to five and a half miles right there!) "We had a fight," Scottie sadly said, "Matt's not talking to me." My astonishment was obvious, I had just been with them Sunday afternoon at The Palace. "I don't want to get into it, but it has to do with mashed potatoes on the wall." I gave him a hug and he asked, "Will you be my Valentine for the next half hour?" I said that I would be honored and we sat with our arms on each other's shoulder for a while. I think that might have been the most sincere Valentine I ever had; there was no pretending, no posturing.