Where DID She Get All That Money?

Few people know from where Lahoma van Zandt acquired her vast fortune. I can now--being released for confidentiality agreements--reveal that source.

It was not from the meteoric rise in the entertainment business she enjoyed in the 40's and 50's. That money was spent on a lavish wardrobe, expensive costume jewelry, and gigalos. It was "in one day and out the other" in that regard.

No, Lahoma invented The Casting Couch. She had keenly observed during her early years in the 20's that a vehicle for young women of aspiration was needed. The automobile had already been snatched from her entrepreneur's mind, and she set herself out to find a new type of mobility. One day, within the paws of a Hollywood producer, Lahoma ventured a guess that being in a relaxed state of mind would make it easier on both parties. Thus, The Casting Couch was born and it was first produced by hand in her home town of Atlanta, Georgia; soon she purchased a warehouse in the Meat Packing District of NYC to bring product to the consumer. (In later years, she would wisely turn it into a sex club for deviants.)

So when you see this ancient entertainer gracefully alighting from her limo at Mortimer's, remember that good, old fashion American ingenuity and the need to recline at "rehearsal" is where she got all that money.