I'm RUINED!

Yes, I am getting into my finest senatorial cloak, climbing into a hot bath, and opening up my veins. Because of a bad stock tip? No, all my money is invested in Halliburton and Victoria's Secret; I'm set for life.

No, this afternoon the legendary Lahoma van Zandt announced to ALL New York City that she had watched a video of me the previous evening "performing" in drag at a club Way Back When. No, No, No; I remember passing my video camera to someone, and I still have the original, but I NEVER thought anyone else got a copy, let alone the legendary Lahoma van Zandt. Good Lord, that's who I handed the camera to.

Those were giddy nights. My then boyfriend and I teamed up with our adopted daughter, Planeta Starr, to treat our favorite DJ, Perfidia with a performance. The audience was amazing: Tina Paul, Michael Musto, Michael Alig, Joey Arias, The It Twins, and on and on. We were the back-up singers to Planeta's version of "Be My Baby" by Ronnie and The Ronettes. I bought those bowed wigs at Pat Field's.

A little later--and this is unfortunately on tape, too--the crowd demanded an encore and we handed perfidia a CD of "These Boots Were Made For Walking" in Spanish, but she fooled us and played that funky song from the sixties, "People Are Finally Gettin' Together". Planeta was lost; our ecstacy was just kicking in and all we did was stare at each other and laugh. Everyone laughed!

Now with my senate career doomed (DOOMED I say), it is time for me to end it all.

Well, actually I can't right yet because I promised Edison I would go to his party tonight. But, tommorrow it's over! I can not live with the shame.

I did look rather fetching, though.