No women were eaten by alligators yesterday.

The Miami "We're Writing As Bad As We Can" Herald posted this photo on the front page today with little more than a caption of Pool Party at Surfcomber. Nothing about the fact that is was an Aqua Girl event or that it was in celebration of everything fabulous about lesbians. No, just a cryptic caption under a telling photo.

Overheard in Little Havana (translated)

"Yolanda, meida! Where is the men? Only girls; I see only girls!"

"Ayi, Mami! The girls, they eat pussy."

"Dio!"

Meanwhile, the better-written, "alternative" paper, Miami New Times, came out with their yearly list of Best Of Miami and to our delight we found our own drunken little whore of a publicist, Thomas Barker. He was named The Best Party Crasher. The New Times knows what they are talking about, and he was all giggly and downing Grey Goose last Thursday here when it hit the streets. Thomas usually hits the streets about 5:15 in the morning when he stumbles home.

Finally, one of my babies has a new blog and, since he's cute, brilliant, viscous, and living in Europe, I suggest you look him up. Leopold (or Poldie, as he was affectionately know in royal circles here just a few years back) has eyes that see everything and a mind that dissects with deadly precision. Hi, baby!