"Homegrown" What?

By now, you have undoubtedly heard from your Attorney General, Pancho Gonzalez, that the federal government has saved you all from "homegrown" terrorists in Miami. Miami, of course, was too, too busy partying as usual to care about protecting you; so as you slept, as you went to Walmart, or as you pulled those nasty dandelions out of your front lawn, we let a swarthy swarm of swaggering terrorists plot your demise. And it only cost $50,000 for this bonanza of a PR prize. Good Lord, that is less than Gerry Kelly's opening party cost last Saturday night.

Call me cynical, but if you give $50,000 to some crack head in Liberty City (Miami's "Den") you can get just about anything you want. And if you want a terrorist group, you will get it--or something close enough. Of course, having a foreign agent of a "friendly" Arab country recruit them as a phony agent helps, and that narrows it down to a couple of well-paid stooge-states and a few wealthy oligarchies. Damn, but anyone in Liberty City wouldn't know that there's a difference between Dubai and Iran. And one could guess that the obscenely poor Haitians arrested for being "Zombie-like" were-well-just acting naturally, and that their "leader" was doing a lot more things with the money than reported since the local FBI director said, "This group was more aspirational than operational". They never got around to buying any guns or explosives and were watched night and day while neighbors reported out-in-the-open "military-like" exercises.

Wow, with a federal government like this in charge of protecting us from enemies like this, we can all let the party go on. Hold my champagne glass while I pin on my diamond brooch. I know it's hot, but I want the sable cape tonight; someone has to show we are sure of ourselves. And, yes, I will ride in an open carriage tonight, just to let everyone see me in all my magnificence.

Don't call me cynical, but I wonder just where it was "grown".