To The Countess Bedelia
The Southern Court here at The Palace, its staff, retainers, and courtiers will today all bow to the North in honor of the birthday of a great lady and friend of everyone here, The Countess Bedelia.
1PM The announcement of The Countess's birthday will commence with the first official drinking of the day.
4PM The official toast to the birthday will be hosted by myself as serious drinking begins.
6PM The guns of The Great Southern Fleet will fire a twenty-one gun salute in honor of the great lady; very, serious drinking starts. (Hopefully, all twenty-one rounds hit Hialeah.)
8PM Captain Jeremy leads a ceremonial burning of a peasant village in honor of The Countess after which drinks are passed out in thanks.
10PM My carriage is prepared for departure as it is "Strawberry Girls Night" and hundreds of drunken lesbians are at the gates.
Happy Birthday Countess!
posted by Alexis du Bois @ 11:37 AM
4 Comments:
The Countess Bedelia is truly humbled by this extraordinary celebration and homage by the Southern Court.
I will match you drink for drink so that I may thank you all for this wonderful courtesy you show me.
I salute each courtesan....ooops, I mean courtier who does me so much honor.
You are more than welcome, you deserve the welcome.
As for the courtesans, they salute me.
Birthdays? Birthdays! You are implying that we are getting older. I will have none of it! Obviously, the birthday observance is purely ceremonial in nature as the good Countess is certainly no older than 29...
A special request of the Gunnery Master. If one of the shells could graze the Miami Beach City Hall, I would be most grateful. (oops -- if the rocket scientists at the DoHS sees this, they will insist there is a plot...)
Oops, I promised to add the flagship of the Royal Lichtensteinian Navy to the gun salute. The good news is that the patch has been applied. The bad news is that it will not be re-inflated in time. (Regrets)
Post a Comment
<< Home