"the" Mrs. Astor

Friday, August 10, 2007

Mrs. Astor's Relief Organization For Nightlife Columnists utilizes these boxes from Nigella Lawson's "Living Kitchen" collection to deliver food to the hungry, yet socially-connected, souls out there. From the dry, drawing rooms of Darfur to the parched parties of P'yongyang, this goody-laden box (so cleverly colored in a Tiffany hue by Ms. Lawson), has brought much-needed relief to the deserving.
He was a little tired and weak, but we--of The Organization--can reliably report that Thomas Barker is on the mend and making no "Amens". He seemed to enjoy the meal of chicken breast with scallions, garlic, and feta cheese, mashed potatoes with parsley, and good, old fashioned Brussels sprouts drowning in butter, but never stopped the stream of gossip. We are all saved...he will be around for the gargantuan party at Halo on Wednesday, the day all The Ladies Who Lunch have off.

Meanwhile, I arrived home from Barker's and there was a bloodied paw print with a steak knife in it on my door, about three feet up from the step. I noticed KiKi lounging by the pool with the latest copy of Hola' magazine between his paws. "Nice dinner?", he sneered. ("How, just how, did he find out", I thought.) "Oh, you know; charity work," I replied, "Not much to it." I noticed another book, "Secrets of the Bulgarian KGB" beside his chair and an umbrella with it's tip in a suspicious inkwell; I crossed my feet and drew them under me saying, "I had to stop that charity nonsense in order to get home to cook something really special for you. You know the slop those needy people will accept." KiKi smiled and came next to me and said, "Is it Bearnaise sauce tonight? And, if it is, scratch my belly."


2 Comments:

At 10:30 AM, Blogger Countess Bedelia said...

I didn't think that Thomas had an actual home. I thought he slept under a newspaper between club dates.

Nice din!din.

 
At 10:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Madame Astor:

Just wanted to let you know....We have returned from our extended leave of absence.

I truly hope your summer has been well, and we look forward to seeing/hearing from you in the future. :)

Mason Deverouxe

 

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