"the" Mrs. Astor

Tuesday, May 30, 2006


On the walk to The Palace yesterday, I was confounded by the discovery of a pair of shoes. At first I thought, "Joan Crawford, Come Fuck Me Pumps", but immediately realized that they were more "Mamie Van Dooren Let Me Blow You Heels". They made my mind rush. What was more disturbing: Finding one shoe or a matching pair? Was this woman swept off her feet or in the trunk of a car? If I tried them on would I be blessed with magical powers or labelled as "cheap"? Thoughts swirled around my mind. I could hear Hastings saying, "Well, old chap. Maybe she didn't fancy them anymore." And I would say, "Hastings, the Woman, she fancies nothing more than the foot."


It was cryptic; the toes pointed toward the ocean. This was--to me--the great Payless crop circle. Was she forced by demons to pull a Virginia Wolff, or did a great sea monster snatch her with its tentacles and pull her to sea? With all that was going down, I could not delve any further into a mystery that only asked, "Are you better off now, than four years ago?" Life is crazy.

7 Comments:

At 7:18 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

I love it. Who's afraid of Virginia Wolfe, not me, I am her. So much mystery and I love a good mystery. You my dear must keep your head up and be the stern of this vessel, the rock in this bluff. I am behind you and I hope it comforts you to know that I care about you both. Be well, I wish for you both!!Kisses and pass the kisses on to your other half!!

 
At 9:30 PM, Blogger Ian Gutierrez said...

oh love...
why do you have to stage such a greek opera every time you wanna get rid of an old pair of shoes?


why donĀ“t just give them away to the Red Cross under the quote "so very two years ago", just like everybody else?'


I love you

 
At 9:54 PM, Blogger Countess Bedelia said...

They look like Miss Tiffany's shoes. Was she drinking 'sex on the beach' last night?

 
At 7:14 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

ROTFL, Ian and his Greek opera comment made me snort laughing! Mwah!

 
At 1:09 PM, Blogger Pandora Wilde said...

The answer's simple.

Gators got her.

 
At 3:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahahaha!!! i'm with serra, the 'gators got her but left her shoes. those are rather uncomfortable to pass.

 
At 11:56 PM, Blogger Jesse said...

What is the meaning? Do you too find meaning in every little thing that crosses your path? So do I and so does my grandmother. Everytime she finds a penny she thinks it is a sign of good luck. I just think it's a sign of being Jewish. I love interpretation! :)

 

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