Royal Tidbits on a Sunday

For those of you waiting anxiously, Ipod in hand, it is official: Princess Stephanie of Monaco is to record a new song. The number, 'L'or de nos vies', will be released on August 28. We all know it has been way too long since her last blockbuster, but anticipation is much of the game. You didn't read it here, but don't be surprised if she doesn't replace Paula Abdul on American Idol.

Queen Beatrix quietly had Princess Maxima's orange and pink outrage of an outfit confiscated and put on a boat to Boca Raton where it belongs. Maxima was reminded the she married into The House of ORANJE-NASSAU, not ORANGE-PINK.

On June 1st The Sultan of Brunei's second wife gave birth to a son. The baby's full names will be Yang Teramat Mulia Paduka Seri Duli Pengiran Muda 'Abdul Wakeel ibni Kebawah Duli Yang Maha Mulia Paduka Seri Baginda Sultan Haji Hassanal Bolkiah Muizzaddin Waddaulah, or "Pookie" for short.

Prince William's love, Kate Middleton, seems to have assured her banishment from royal favor by giving William a birthday present of a painting of themselves nude but for a tastefully placed fabric. What is she thinking!? Could The House of Windsor have connived to place an "advisor" in Kate's household? She can't be that stupid alone; ideas like that are "placed".

And The House of Savoy has suffered another devastating humiliation. Prince Vittorio Emmanuel, son of the last--if short lived--King of Italy and grandson of his namesake and Mussolini's pet king, was arrested for suspected Mafia dealings, bribery, corruption, and prostitution racketeering on June 16. A life of mysterious dealings, "accidental" shooting deaths, and all-round sleaziness seems to have caught up with him, with his sister, Princess Maria Gabriella of Savoy, saying, in effect, that she no longer considered him a royal. "As of today, for me, he is Mr Savoy," she told the daily newspaper Corriere della Sera. As the wayward prince lives in Switzerland, Italian authorities kept him locked up with everyday criminals. The prince seems to have adapted remarkably well to life behind bars. After getting his first taste of prison food, he told a local politician who visited him earlier this week: "It really is true what they say: in Italy, you can eat well everywhere".