At 1PM today all four major stations switch to Panic Mode, a non-stop weather report of the feelings and notions of all the gay meteorologists (has anyone ever figured out why so many of them are gay?), There was no panic today and, if you could watch all four stations at once, it was laughable to see the different projections and cones.

But nothing beats Fox's channel seven (it's gay-owned and staffed so we forgive it). There, below the scary predictions, ran a news wire reporting school closings, gas lines, the usual nonsense when this private ad streamed along: "Depressed? Hearing voices? Crying uncontrollably? Call the Seder Institute today." Then, more evacuation planning, assurances.... I heard voices right there, and they told me The Seder Institute is one smart cookie and probably filled with more quacks than a foie gras farm.

No panic, just one big party coming up. All I want to know is will the airport will be open by Thursday and if the storm plans to follow me up the coast to Newport.