Maybe I'm out of my mid-week crisis. It always starts on a Monday afternoon just when the drugs, booze, and hype is wearing off.

I attempted to bake a pork roast on Monday, but fell asleep for five hours and the result was something that resembled a bowling ball with the feel of a coconut. So, I went to the local deli and purchased a big tray of pulled pork and another one of rice with a red, bean gravy topping (KiKi loves that). I brought them over and KiKi did the usual "dance", something I always called the Dog Tango, where he circles me in a motion of side steps. Only Leopold--who lived with me for some time and got to know KiKi like few do--would know this. The two other dogs were happy too; entering with two trays of food is a "good thing".

I entered the kitchen and everything seemed quite spotless as normal and, in the way some people check medicine cabinets, I looked in the freezer. I was shocked to see only two ice cube trays; a further look to the the fridge revealed something that could only have looked like an Albanian refridgerator in the 70's: a small pan of about half a cup of dried rice and half an avocado. This shocked me, because although I knew he had been out of work for a week because of the bloodclot and pending surgery, I never, ever expected not to be informed about a lack of food. A call later in the day confirmed that he was ashamed to admit his situation so I did what any organizational-obsessed, control freak would do and conducted the largest "airlift" of food since the Berlin Crisis, thanks to Publix.

I LOVE shopping for food and when the van arrived with it I was happy to say, "Put everything in the freezer" and drove off to The Palace where I had to deal with another dog situation, The Dachshund Winterfest. I will be manning the table serving martinis (only to dogs) with my new friend of city-inspired madness, Elliott Thompson. I don't know: I spent the first few days wondering why I fixate on Latino belly shots, puppet-headed drag queens, and the rest of my friends living a dissolute life while apparently some people go hungry. I think I'm over it.....for a few days.