Doing The Bar Crawl

The image of crawling from bar to bar can't be far from most of our memories; mine is quite fresh, actually, as having occurred (again) just a few days ago. But, having it qualified and sanctified by The City and a state-wide political organization makes it an almost noble effort.
Thomas Barker, that indefatigable wag-about-town, has organized a drinkathon to raise $25,000 for Equality Florida, the group desperately trying to stop the far-right attempt to not only deny same-sex marriages in Florida, but to deny the rights of domestic partnerships, straight or gay. The Neanderthals behind this measure, guided as they are by their gods and religions, would over-ride municipalities like Miami Beach which have already given equal rights to domestic partnerships.

Barker has raised hundreds of thousands of dollars already for Equality; it is heartening to see a friend finally find a great role and use his power for such good. So, who better to organize The Bar Crawl than the greatest bar fly in town? Next Saturday at 8 PM the platinum members of this event, The Palace, Halo, Score, and Twist will host this fund-raiser in cooperation with Absolut. The Palace will fire off the starting shot (complete with all the media hype) at 8 PM when ticket holders can begin drinking all the Absolut they want until 9:30. At 10 PM Halo takes the stage and continues the Absolut binge until 11:30 at which time those still standing will stagger over to Score at midnight and continue drinking all the Absolut they can until 1:30. At 2:00 AM the happy crowd will crawl to Twist for the final leg of this noble event. Led by Barker on his hands and knees (a position most of us have practiced to perfection), Twist will take on the final salute to excessive charity.

Alcoholic noblesse oblige; it just comes naturally.