I absolutely adored this clutch on the table next to us the other night at Da Leo. It must have been noted that I was agog because when I asked to take a picture of it, the woman then asked, "Don't you want you photo taken with it?" Oh, how very right she was. You won't get to see that gem, but let me tell you: I felt so fabulous.

I'm being kidnapped tonight and taken to Miami against my wishes, knowledge, and better judgement. Leopoldo and his friends are taking me to Azuca, a Latino hideout. Now, anyone with the slightest perception of me knows my total worship of all things Latin, but I already have the best and biggest lollipop, so why take me to the candy store? It's all wrong, but Leo insists and they have a bizarre interest in seeing me there. "You are going to Cha-Cha-Land whether you like it or not!"

I'm already suffering from Nervous Bowel Syndrome.