"the" Mrs. Astor

Tuesday, May 27, 2008


Yes, the photo tells all; I was not making up stories of how Mrs. Stuyvesant-Fish engages every technique possible to cop a feel of Mr. Astor in one of her booze hazes. What ever happened to her handlers? They used to be very good at keeping her locked up. Sure, she would gnaw through her restraints every now and then and lower herself out the window with a triple strand of pearls, but these were rare. Now, every time the door of Twist opens the threat of Mamie's entrance is clear.
This is a small town, though, and Society can't be at each other's throats, so we made up with a kiss. (The only difference is that I managed to do what the legendary Tina Paul of The Fifibears and I used to call "The Chin Maneuver" before the flash went off. Mamie did not, poor soul.)

Decent people still abound here, though, and Edison Farrow --with his boyfriend, Nestor--has taken over Halo's Friday happy hours of 4 to 9. If there ever was a town that was made for "happy hours", it is Miami Beach; everyone loves to be happy here. In fact, there is only one or two establishments that do not have happy hours. Every time there is a report of some well-intentioned city or state outlawing drink specials, we cringe and think, "It can't happen here". But, it can; and, I warn everyone that the City Commission is moving in that direction. A more backward-thinking group of inbred, corrupt creeps couldn't be found than those holding the power throughout Miami and the rest of Florida. If we don't take back some of that power by flexing our moneyed muscles and voting, all the rights we received will disappear one by one.
You will only pry those drink tickets out of my cold, dead fingers.


At 4:09 PM, Blogger peter said...

My dear Mrs. Astor, If you keep posting pictures of Mr. Astor in repose bare-assed on the marriage bed, how can you not expect that every Tom, Dick, and Harry, including Mamie Stuyvesant-Fish, will not want to put their hands on him.

On the other hand, the publicity is certainly good for SoBe in the summer. I was looking for animals native to scorching hot temperatures but could only find that dinosaurs have died off leaving denizens of SoBe as rare specimens to be observed until December brings cool temperatures and that other odd speciman known as a SnowBird.

At 4:14 PM, Blogger Countess Bedelia said...

Ooops! That last comment was really from me. DuBarry was using my computer and it was still logged on with his name. I don't want him to think that I am posting as him. Sorry!

At 11:26 PM, Blogger "the" Mrs. Astor said...

Sure...the two of you are in CA-HOOTS. That is for sure. The Great Southern Court will be beefed up by December to counter you moves.


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