Compulsion #1
Timeliness You know, I'm sick of being called "The Big Controller" simply because I like things to be on time. ONE! I'm not "big"; as Pearl Bailey used to say, "I'm just a woman of Social Magnitude." TWO! Yes, I'm a controller, but one of the nicest, as long as you follow The Rules.
Rule#1 is: Be On Time. Being on time is a projection of how much you value the role of the host who invited you. In New York, I used to arrive ten minutes early and circle the block a couple of times in order to ring the bell at the exact time invited. Being late--to me--shows disdain and ignorance; in my Book, you are not invited a second time if you are unreasonably late.
That said, I organized something different on Sunday before my return to Palace mayhem as now once again rules the afternoon. I selected the Betsy Ross Hotel, an oddity of English Colonialism which hosts a very civilized afternoon tea every day. Tea begins at four and--in true fashion--I was right on time only to find I was the first to arrive. THIS does not bother me. I have a long history of amusing myself combined with pampering myself. It was a lovely room, I took a seat and proceeded to indulge myself with the tea of a company named Tangueray; I'm on a diet, so I passed up all but one plain scone. It was a half hour before the first friends arrived, and had it not been for Tangueray Tea ,I might have been cross. But the piano player had arrived and was belting out some fierce Teddy Wilson numbers, so it was easy to be forgiving. I'm sick of Latin Time, though; someone has to teach these people standards.If it has to be me, I am ready to stand up to bat.
posted by Alexis du Bois @ 10:37 PM
4 Comments:
Mrs. Astor,
This Sunday, 4pm, at the Betsy Ross? I promise to be prompt.
:-)
B&T
P.S. Did you have the Earl Grey also?
Discipline, darling, it is all about discipline. And, of course, a good Latin boy expects a certain amount of discipline from Papi(!) -- they pout if you are too indulgent.
I'm one who subscribes to the rule of "fashionably late." I prefer not to be more than 10-15 minutes late.
One two occasions, however, I have been on the receiving end of what you described.
Situation #1: We had a housewarming luncheon for our new home. Friends drove 3-4 hours from VA to arrive ON time. However; husband's cousins, who live just over the border in CT, a scant half hour away, were the "Late Kates." They called at 10 a.m. and said they'd "be a little late, a little after 12" they said. By 2 p.m., we all held out as long as we could, so we all could have lunch together. 4 p.m. our Virginian friends were on their way. What time did the cousins finally show? 5 p.m. FIVE HOURS LATE. No call. No nothing. They could have walked from CT to our NY home in less time, I am sure.
Situation #2: I was hosting a casual dinner on the Fourth of July. Friends called to say they were on their way and stopping off for wine. Obviously most liquor stores were closed. When they called, I put a lovely salmon filet in my stovetop smoker, assuming that since they called, they would be arriving in a half hour, the amount of time necessary to smoke/cook the fish. The time ticked off. Half hour. Hour. Hour and a half. Finally after two hours, and no additional call, they showed up. Fortunately I had the forethought to keep the smoker closed, and thus saved the fish from a dessicated fate.
In both situations, I was beyond furious, yet kept up polite appearances. To this day I still seethe a bit thinking about it.
PS: Mrs. Astor, have you tried Rooibos yet?
I know, I know; I live in Latin heaven so I--of all people--should not complain or I could go back to Newport and be caste and punctual.
N., what else can you do but be polite and keep up appearances; we thrive on that ability, pat ourselves on the back for being so noble, and pull out a voodoo doll of these people and stick pins in it. It's all maddening.
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