You become that which you mock. Did Voltaire write that or von Clauswitz?

Anyway, I have become Sally Struthers. My children need help: YOUR help. No, they are not thirsty for clean water; they abhor it (fish swim in it). No they didn't go to bed hungry tonight; not unless a side order of sushi would put them in that category.

No, my children have special needs. Matt--an outgoing and friendly child with a thirst for life and Bloody Mary's--needs a guiding cinematic hand as his parents kept him locked up in a basement while hundreds of gay movies became available on video. Little Jesse needs just a loving home for a few, short weeks in the hurricane-prone province of Miami. He has survived hurricanes in the past; this we know from a rare video of him dancing The Beyonce. This kid has a lot to give for that caring person.

Please help my special children; there are many more where they came from, but I can't remember their names right now.