It's Gone

What a joy it was to wake up at four in the morning shivering, even though I was wearing flannel pajamas and under a comforter. Even better was seeing the ceiling fan running. There was still electricity!!! (A day before a storm you run the air conditioning as high as possible in order to retain it for the inevitable power failure.)

But this was the storm that wasn’t. We watched five different weather-reporting stations at once and watched five different guesses; it was laughable. On Sunday tourists were ordered out of The Keys and on Monday the residents; another joke because NO ONE from The Keys ever leaves. By Tuesday morning, the tourists who had come to Miami were being warned that they might have to leave HERE, and it indeed looked like everyone seeking safety should head for The Keys. It was pure Marx Brothers.

This morning I went to The Evil Empire (The Bank of America) and was greeted by the very friendly manager. That is not unusual; we are a large account. But after the greeting he said, “We are conducting limited business today.” “Oh,” I asked, “Just how limited?”

“Well,” he answered, “we have no money.”

“Really,” I replied, “like No Cash?”

“Well,” he explained, “the safe was set to open on Thursday morning because we thought we’d be closed and we can’t get into it.”

Unaware of banking technology as I am, I still asked, “Can’t the person who TIMED it to open on Thursday come in and TIME it to open, say, an hour from now?”

“No there are safeguards…” He looked very nervous as customers were coming in.

I could offer only the most basic advice before I left: “Perhaps you shouldn’t have opened after all. You are in for a very bad day.” He’s such a nice guy; he shook my hand and said, “I know”. His was cold and sweaty.