Today I was so confused that I might have murmured aloud that "I'm losing touch with reality"; but that would be so ridiculous since, I've never touched the thing to begin with.

It all started last night with Riley; we were enjoying the rather quiet comfort of Seventh when someone actually said, "Oh, did you see that The Coconut Hunter was killed? He was killed by a coconut." We looked at each other and evilly smirked, and I had the audacity to say, "No, you mean The Crocodile Hunter." My corrective comment was totally ignored and taken offense by; it wasn't the first time. (I tried to post this last night, but forgot my rule of No Drunk Posting!)

I sank deeper into the abyss of frivolity when I had the bright idea to look on eBay for my Baby Jane dress. "Hmmmm, wouldn't it be so cheeky of me to look at Dresses: Plus Size?" What happened next was a Pandora's Box of madness. I didn't find Jane's baby doll dress (I know I will end up making it myself), but I found a wardrobe to fit every special occasion coming up for the next ten years. It was magical: "waist 34" - 42" with train". I saw this piece, in particular, the perfect greeting dress to wear for the next Black Ships Ball in Newport; the Japanese ambassador would be mesmerised by the symmetry and beauty of this floral gown. ( I actually thought, "Mrs. Pinkerton", for one deluded moment.) All for a pittance on eBay.

My warning to all out there: Whatever you do, DON'T go to Ebay Plus Sizes and expect you life, and wardrobe, to remain unchanged.