Coming Home and Election Day

By the grace of God, Mr. Astor arrived back to me at 5 AM from San Francisco. I had prepared a sandwich, paired it with his favorite chocolate cookies, and had a dish of ice cream ready, too.

My costume of greeting was that of a pirate, not so much for the style, but for a slight eye injury received.. On Friday night as I entered the gates to La Casa shots rang out and I immediately took the anti-revolutionary steps of diving to the ground, throwing an ostrich feather from my hat to distract attention, and taking a Mauser out of my muff and firing into the air, hitting a palm tree and two street lights. I was also successful in grazing my eyebrow. What a pain; I still had to accompany Matti Bower to The Palace rally the next day. Thankfully, Leopoldo’s collection of sunglasses contained a wonderfully large, Versace pair that did the job. I stayed close to home the rest of the weekend and, if I did go out, was heavily veiled. On Monday, however, I had to purchase a patch.

Mr. Astor’s comment when he saw the injury: “I am going to love you so much ,that eye will heal twice as fast.” It’s good to have him back, and I’m sure The City as a whole will sigh with relief that there’s someone to look after me again.

In the meantime, we are in the final hours of voting for mayor and Matti’s sleaze ball opponent is using his vast reserves to slander her name, pander to the Jews, hug the Cubans, and kiss every ass he can. As president of a bank that funded much of the rampant over-development of this city, he has a lot of high placed friends. Still, you have to wonder how he lost the popular vote when he paid about $75 apiece for them. He has supported the over-benefited unions, too, a move I told Matti meant nothing; most union members don’t live here. It’s a nail-biting afternoon, but I have a good feeling that the residents of this city won’t be fooled by the conniving Simon.