"the" Mrs. Astor

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Trouble is brewing in a town caught in the summer doldrums. Security cameras caught Mrs. Stuyvesant-Fish trying on a leopard coat (in the height of summer, no less) at Saks Fifth Avenue. They were sent by secret dispatch to The Baroness Seitzinger who forwarded them to me, knowing full well that I would never show a soul. Imagine...in a time like this that social windbag is buying emerald-decorated pens at Cartier and fancying leopard coats; there should be a law.
This is on the heels of a general conference called for tomorrow evening between the three of us. And, I know trouble is brewing because 1. The Baroness has asked me to bring a camera crew, 2. Mrs. S-F called me today to assure her love and devotion to my house, and 3. Someone said that Poland had to be invaded. My dressmaker has been ordered to make me a corset of Kevlar and all vacation leave for pool boy/food tasters canceled. I will close my eyes tonight while the words, "Peace in our time" gently pass over my lips.

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