Help Was on the Way

The telegraph message to the 7th Gay Calvary was short and to the point: "Need help, now. Peasants are revolting. May rape before slaughtering."

At 5Pm the distinct sound of a calvary charge was heard down Ocean Drive and the polished sabers could be seen raised in great anticipation of rape and slaughter. The peasants were all drunk on cheap wine and could not defend themselves adequately. It was fabulous: Tiffany was singing "God Save The Tsar" (the disco version) when the carnage began. Well, there wasn't much carnage as I had befriended most of the Latino peasants beforehand and greeted The 7th with an open bar to quelched their thirst (it has never been for blood). There was an awful amount of carnage in the bathrooms and my office; a war mentality does strange things to people.