And, now this (from Mrs. Stuyvsant-Fish):
"Ladies: Two social secretaries have been working full time to go through my correspondence since my return from Las Vegas. Yesterday, both turned in notice after being forced to read the ramblings of you two old drunks (and one slut) battling it out over moral superiority. I bribed one; the other unfortunately fell off the balcony as I didn't feel as though I could keep her confidentialty agreement in force. The stress of Las Vegas and the amount of work nearly did poor Mamie in. She retired to her chambers on Monday afternoon, and only made a brief appearance to greet the pizza delivery man yesterday afternoon. She went back down into another deep, pill induced slumber. Poor Mamie racked up nearly 24 hours of much needed deep sleep since Monday. Today, she is back at work, albeit taking things slowly at first. HOWEVER, let this be the warning to you two that her liver and tongue are back, primed and ready to rumble. Regards, MSF"
Just when you thought it was safe to walk the streets.
posted by Alexis du Bois @ 12:14 PM
4 Comments:
Having safely arrived back at the Castle Bedelia in Transylchusetts, The Countess regales her courtiers with tales of escaping the attempted assassination plot by poison umbrella tip.
Her new Knight, Sir Rodrigo, is already planning for next year's pool party while Sir Leandro sits at her feet and paints her toenails.
How dare you, after I introduced to Society here?! If only the poisoned-tipped umbrella had arrived on time; damn the Bulgarian Fedex1
Dearest Countess:
I do feel a loss for not having the opportunity to greet you during your recent state visit. I bow down to your greatness, highlighted by the sheer fact that you've reduced Mrs. Astor to a babbling, paranoid old woman. Perhaps the umbrella tip wasn't long or sharp engough to get through all the layers of undergarmets?
However, please do leave some young men for the rest of us.
MSF
Dearest Mamie, It was truly tragic that you were not in attendance at The Southern Court to witness the complete triumph of The Northern Court. We shall return another day and hopefully Mrs. Astor will have recovered her wits, as well as her liver, by then.
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